Hmmm, it’s been years since I tried this, and I while it turned out somewhat ok, I need practice every step of the way, from the rice to the rolling. Ah well, I can think of worse things than eating all the practice results…
Author: Harfimdur Blackbuckle
I'm a bard. I do bardy things.
The Prince’s Pizza
Sooo, Einarr has been baking pizzas here and there, and no joke, he’s really good at it! He’s showing surprising care and dexterity for someone whose first instinct is to punch everything as hard as they can. The dough is wonderfully crispy and chewy and fluffy, all at the same time. And the toppings… yum. But he’s strangely secretive about it. I don’t know why… Hey…what…dammit Einarr leggo of my pen…
EINARR EINARR ERAN EINARR REINARR EINARR EINARREINARREINARR EINARREINARR EINARR REINARR EINAAAAARR EEEEEEEE EINARRR EINAR E I N A R R E I N A R R EINARR EINARRRRRRRR EEEEEEIIIII NNNNNNAAAAARRRRRR RRRRRR EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E
5Backhendlsalat
Note to self: Magnificent beard hair and hot oil are not good companions. Luckily just a small splash but I’m kinda mad at myself for being sloppy. On the other hand, the pumpkin seed oil for the vinaigrette is nice.
Bread Dumplings
Misshapen bread? Just cut it up and turn it into dumplings, no biggie. Isn’t it funny how stew always tastes better a day later?
Chicken & Potato Gumbo
Gumbo is fun. Firstly, it’s cooked with beer, that’s a plus (admittedly, the alcohol cooks out). Secondly, making the roux for gumbo feels like an elaborate dare just how dark you can make it before it starts to burn.
Takes me back. We used to have enchanted jars to keep hot food with us, they were prized as much as a good pickaxe. I sold mine to buy my first lute. It wasn’t all that good, but it was a lute… Hm, I’m sure one could muse about selling your past to dream of a future…
But those were the times. A hard day of work, a hot bowl of stew, a quiet place deep underneath the earth.
That’s the thing, people often don’t know how quiet a mine can be. You see, if you’re feeling pompous and vain you carve big mountain halls. Large spaces, square angles, flat walls. Sound will bounce around like a tireless child. But when you’re mining, you don’t care about aesthetics. You don’t negotiate with the mountain about which path would look pretty, you choose the softer stone and avoid the harder bits. Some natural cavities here, a mined vein of ore there, and you end up with a ragged network of spaces where no two surfaces point the same way. And the way sound bounces there, not knowing which way to go, makes it sound unusually quiet and muted, like no other place in the world. A hard day of work, a hot bowl of stew. I remember I started to sneak away to find a secluded place, eat my food and hum melodies of fledgling songs. The birth of a bard, in the quiet of the mountain.
When the world is all weird angles, you don’t know which way to bounce, heh…
1Grilled Cheese Sandwich
To complete the trifecta of square bread creations.
Bread, cheddar, an amount of butter that would give a lich heartburn, and a hot pan, not too hot, until it all fuses into a cheesy, gooey and crunchy singularity. I think I need to take a nap now…
1Croque Madame
Leaving Niflheim and the monotony of mining opened my eyes to how the world is such a dance of people coming and going, each person passing by being a deep well of stories waiting to be told.
One of my earlier exposures to that was when I was working as a dishwasher to get by, my skills as a bard still hopelessly underdeveloped. There came this woman, human, 50-ish years of age if I had to take a guess, and she began to tell stories from her home country far away. I only caught bits and pieces between the work, but she radiated life. Within minutes she commanded people’s attentions.
Where she was from, they’d call a tavern not “tavern” but a “bistro”, and she recounted how they’d sit leisurely in the sun and enjoy coffee and a snack in the company of good friends. One of those dishes being a so-called “Croque Madame”, which supposedly translates into “crunchy lady” or something…?
Ham and cheese between two slices of bread, a hint of mustard, a fried egg and some more cheese sauce on top. Not a mere sandwich, but a layered symphony of comforting tastes.
Here’s my try. I would hope to capture some of that “schwoa… schoi…” – dammit, my pronunciation sucks, but I think it’s spelled “joie de vivre”… – I’d hope to capture some of that sometime, in my cooking, or my music.
1BLT Sandwich
Structural issues aside, the bread still made for a good sandwich. I’ll take it.
1The Geometry of Dwarven Bread
Dwarven bread should reflect the qualities inherent in dwarvenkind. Sturdy and square. No frills nor adornments should interfere with the basic structure and stability of a loaf of dwarven bread. In fact, if one were to swap out a keystone of a bridge with a well baked loaf, and you couldn’t tell the difference, I’d consider this good bread.
Glorifim Berlgranite, Baker
I’ve come across the writings of Glorifim and if you ask me, that guy is a bit nuts. But I can’t lie, the nostalgic comfort of a nice square loaf is something I can’t deny. I decided to take some inspiration from my travels and try for something softer and fluffier. Got something tasty, but I think I messed up my shaping and timing and ran into some, shall we say… structural problems. Grumph… this is trickier than I thought…
2Roasted Cauliflower Pt. 3
Decided to go the other way around and take it low and slow. I honestly lost track of time, was it one and a harf hours? *Glug* Two and a harf? *Glug* But I felt like I was on the right track. Decided to not go for the mayo and went for a big dollop of miso butter instead, and whooo… I think I’m onto something. Now I’m getting ideas of brightening it up with some fresh lemon zest and juice and serving it on a flaky pie crust like a galette with some sugar snap peas… hmmm…